As I was saying in one of my previous blogs, I'm on my own confidence journey. Sometimes I feel super confident and feel great about myself. Other times I just feel like rubbish, constantly comparing myself to other people, whether it be friends, family or even people on the street.
It is a terrible feeling, feeling like this- I wouldn't ever make someone else feel like this, so why do I do it to myself? I guess it is all part of being a normal human being but the pressure of our culture, mainly from social media, to be the best version of ourself can be destructive. This is so difficult to keep up with. If we aren't married by the time we're a certain age, if we haven't got a large amount of friends, or don't earn as much as others, if you choose not to have children or don't want to buy a house even though all your friends have, you feel like somehow you haven't quite 'made it' even though all of these things are mainly our own choice or just circumstance.
Having all these pressures and not meeting these standard, makes my inner critic go mental. So many thoughts of 'why can't I be like (so and so)', or 'I wish my life was more like (insert name)', tearing apart my self-esteem until I don't like myself very much and then just want to eat crisps and things that are bad for me.. mm chocolate..
This has been playing on my heart recently, not on a daily basis but on and off. Sometimes it is to do with not looking as good as I want to, not reaching my potential in work or my social life. But maybe I'm comparing myself to a benchmark that isn't me? This day and age blogs about beauty are super popular, as are the fashion blogs. I do feel like this does encourage comparison sometimes, like at times it makes me think 'that product is so expensive, but I could never afford something like that'. This just ends up rolling into comparison of how much I'm earning or just generally consuming information about other people that is almost this fantasy land of wishing I could be more like them. I can't be them, I'm me. That is just the way it is. There are things I can change whether it be trying to improve my workouts to improve my body or trying to get training for work to be able to earn more.
I think I've just got to keep reminding myself that. Yes, I will keep comparing myself to other people, but I also need to keep strong in my believes of changing my life and lifestyle to keep improving the way I want to. Maybe even try and turn that comparison into motivation. Instead of thinking, 'I wish', think 'I can'.
Sure, this won't happen over night.. it will be a constant struggle, probably for the rest of my life, because I'm sure that even the people that I compare myself to, will be comparing themselves to others and potentially even me.
I know this blogpost is a bit random and not really that helpful, but some of you may feel like you're in the same boat and feel reassured that you're not the only one?
Love C. xx
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