As I was saying in one of my previous blogs, I'm on my own confidence journey. Sometimes I feel super confident and feel great about myself. Other times I just feel like rubbish, constantly comparing myself to other people, whether it be friends, family or even people on the street.
It is a terrible feeling, feeling like this- I wouldn't ever make someone else feel like this, so why do I do it to myself? I guess it is all part of being a normal human being but the pressure of our culture, mainly from social media, to be the best version of ourself can be destructive. This is so difficult to keep up with. If we aren't married by the time we're a certain age, if we haven't got a large amount of friends, or don't earn as much as others, if you choose not to have children or don't want to buy a house even though all your friends have, you feel like somehow you haven't quite 'made it' even though all of these things are mainly our own choice or just circumstance.
Having all these pressures and not meeting these standard, makes my inner critic go mental. So many thoughts of 'why can't I be like (so and so)', or 'I wish my life was more like (insert name)', tearing apart my self-esteem until I don't like myself very much and then just want to eat crisps and things that are bad for me.. mm chocolate..
This has been playing on my heart recently, not on a daily basis but on and off. Sometimes it is to do with not looking as good as I want to, not reaching my potential in work or my social life. But maybe I'm comparing myself to a benchmark that isn't me? This day and age blogs about beauty are super popular, as are the fashion blogs. I do feel like this does encourage comparison sometimes, like at times it makes me think 'that product is so expensive, but I could never afford something like that'. This just ends up rolling into comparison of how much I'm earning or just generally consuming information about other people that is almost this fantasy land of wishing I could be more like them. I can't be them, I'm me. That is just the way it is. There are things I can change whether it be trying to improve my workouts to improve my body or trying to get training for work to be able to earn more.
I think I've just got to keep reminding myself that. Yes, I will keep comparing myself to other people, but I also need to keep strong in my believes of changing my life and lifestyle to keep improving the way I want to. Maybe even try and turn that comparison into motivation. Instead of thinking, 'I wish', think 'I can'.
Sure, this won't happen over night.. it will be a constant struggle, probably for the rest of my life, because I'm sure that even the people that I compare myself to, will be comparing themselves to others and potentially even me.
I know this blogpost is a bit random and not really that helpful, but some of you may feel like you're in the same boat and feel reassured that you're not the only one?
Love C. xx
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Showing posts with label negative. Show all posts
Showing posts with label negative. Show all posts
Sunday, 1 March 2015
Thursday, 19 February 2015
How To| Get Self Confidence?!
I've got a chatty one for you this week my beauties, I hope you don't mind!
I'm not going to sit here and type about how easy it is to be self confident..because it is definitely not that easy.
Self-confidence is a personal journey for everyone. You'll find that many people take different paths, some people may get there quicker than others with a smoother ride and some people may take years and years with many twists and turns in the road. But, my dear friends, the end result is the same -we are all going to the same destination.
I found this really interesting that confidence is actually derived from the Latin word for 'with faith'. In this case it would be having faith in yourself and believing in yourself. I know we all have our up and down days where sometimes you just think negatively or feel like you can't be that girl or guy who is super confident (without being cocky), but when we have these days -it is okay, it is allowed.
Sometimes however, you've got to realise that you need to bite the bullet and try and change something in your life to make you feel more confident.
For me personally I am still on my own journey to self-confidence, I am nowhere near the confident woman I would like to be. But I have developed some confidence and I would like to share how I have got this far.
Fake it.
Try to think of someone who you feel inspired by or someone you think is really confident. Think about the way they stand and the way they hold themselves or the way they speak. There has been research to back up that your body actually changes the way your mind thinks. For example if you make yourself do a big cheesy smile or force a laugh out for 10 seconds, you'll find that you are happier as your brain releases endorphins. This works for good posture too. Stand up straight with your shoulders back, chest out and head up. You start feeling better and people will perceive you to be a more confident person.
If you're someone who you feels like you can't act like that or something is holding you back ask yourself why? The internal conversation you have inside and those thoughts that go with it can affect your feelings, if you're thinking positively you feel good, if you're thinking negatively you feel bad. Trying to ignore the bad thoughts and get into the right mindset. So for example, if you are walking into a party and you feel like everyone is looking at you or you don't know many people, try and turn the situation around. Ignore the negative thoughts and think about whether everyone is having fun or whether you're in a nice destination, pick up on those thoughts and make them great memories for you to look back on.
If you don't want to practice with people who are in your day-to-day life, practice when there is nothing at stake with someone you don't know. Take the opportunity to practice on a shop assistant or a waiter. These people are paid to be nice and helpful so they shouldn't say anything to make you feel negative and you can develop your confidence on them. Once you've done this to the point you feel comfortable just turn that confident person into the everyday person you are.
One last tip is to dress to impress and no I'm not talking about impressing other people I'm talking about impressing yourself. Wear the clothes that make you feel the most comfortable and make you feel yours sexiest or something that really shows off your silhouette. This will help you get into a positive mindset.
I hope this blogpost helps at least one person. If you want me to do another post like this another time it would be great to know in the comment section below. I would also strongly recommend that you give at least one person a compliment sometime this week, it would definitely brighten up someone else's day and you never know you might cheer someone up!
Love C. Xx
Instagram Twitter Pinterest Snapchat: pureaccidentalbeauty
I'm not going to sit here and type about how easy it is to be self confident..because it is definitely not that easy.
Self-confidence is a personal journey for everyone. You'll find that many people take different paths, some people may get there quicker than others with a smoother ride and some people may take years and years with many twists and turns in the road. But, my dear friends, the end result is the same -we are all going to the same destination.
I found this really interesting that confidence is actually derived from the Latin word for 'with faith'. In this case it would be having faith in yourself and believing in yourself. I know we all have our up and down days where sometimes you just think negatively or feel like you can't be that girl or guy who is super confident (without being cocky), but when we have these days -it is okay, it is allowed.
Sometimes however, you've got to realise that you need to bite the bullet and try and change something in your life to make you feel more confident.
For me personally I am still on my own journey to self-confidence, I am nowhere near the confident woman I would like to be. But I have developed some confidence and I would like to share how I have got this far.
Fake it.
Try to think of someone who you feel inspired by or someone you think is really confident. Think about the way they stand and the way they hold themselves or the way they speak. There has been research to back up that your body actually changes the way your mind thinks. For example if you make yourself do a big cheesy smile or force a laugh out for 10 seconds, you'll find that you are happier as your brain releases endorphins. This works for good posture too. Stand up straight with your shoulders back, chest out and head up. You start feeling better and people will perceive you to be a more confident person.
If you're someone who you feels like you can't act like that or something is holding you back ask yourself why? The internal conversation you have inside and those thoughts that go with it can affect your feelings, if you're thinking positively you feel good, if you're thinking negatively you feel bad. Trying to ignore the bad thoughts and get into the right mindset. So for example, if you are walking into a party and you feel like everyone is looking at you or you don't know many people, try and turn the situation around. Ignore the negative thoughts and think about whether everyone is having fun or whether you're in a nice destination, pick up on those thoughts and make them great memories for you to look back on.
If you don't want to practice with people who are in your day-to-day life, practice when there is nothing at stake with someone you don't know. Take the opportunity to practice on a shop assistant or a waiter. These people are paid to be nice and helpful so they shouldn't say anything to make you feel negative and you can develop your confidence on them. Once you've done this to the point you feel comfortable just turn that confident person into the everyday person you are.
One last tip is to dress to impress and no I'm not talking about impressing other people I'm talking about impressing yourself. Wear the clothes that make you feel the most comfortable and make you feel yours sexiest or something that really shows off your silhouette. This will help you get into a positive mindset.
I hope this blogpost helps at least one person. If you want me to do another post like this another time it would be great to know in the comment section below. I would also strongly recommend that you give at least one person a compliment sometime this week, it would definitely brighten up someone else's day and you never know you might cheer someone up!
Love C. Xx
Instagram Twitter Pinterest Snapchat: pureaccidentalbeauty
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